Shoulda Known Better

I had such high hopes for starting the year on a positive note and staying there. It lasted about three weeks. Then, once again, I allowed myself to become overwhelmed with my circumstances. I know these things and yet I keep falling into the same trap. Having spent the better part of the last month in a state of what I can only call depression (not wanting to get up in the morning, no energy for anything, close to tears or just not feeling anything at all), I finally shared with my husband the difficulty I was having. I already knew his answer -- "Just do the things you need to do!" -- which, I must admit, wasn't the answer I wanted. What else could I do? I gave his suggestion a try. I actually planned out a week's menu and sat down once again to begin writing. I'm sorry to have to admit it, but it worked! I have been feeling a little less "under" a tremendous weight. It hasn't gone away completely but it is lifting. Thanks to having to prepare and teach a weekly women's study, I have had to knuckle down again and get into God's word. I'm sure that has been the true reason for the relief I have been enjoying. It is a difficult study, dealing with things like humility and honesty and repentance (so far!) but once again I am daily being reminded that God is the God of all comfort and He will not allow us to be burdened beyond the capacity of our shoulders to carry whatever the weight. Yup! I shoulda known better. Why is it that we forsake first the one thing that brings us life? It is, without a doubt, our relationship with Jesus and time in His word. I haven't reached the mountaintop yet but I am finally noticing the growth in the valley.